So I wanted to turn the leaf and jus start over. I literally turned on my past and left. I left the old me unattended. No explains no apologies not soo much as a goodbye. Nothing. That's jus how desperately I wanted to run away from her. She is too small too fragile too insecure, too emotional, too forgiving and easily trusting so in short she was weighing me down. She cared too much if what other people. she cared about what people will say if all of a sudden she turns her back on them. she cared if people where okay. But this are the same s people who don't care enough to reach out. this are people who made her feel obligated to them. This are people that made the. Of her insecurities. This are people that call her dramatic when she was getting depressed. I was soo tired of the girl that let them take a leaves of her bit by bit. So I left.On my way to becoming the best version of myself I stopped.Not because it was a cry for help but because it worked. For a while I started feeling good, too good. I started feeling free. I started letting go. I started accepting. Letting go of the illusion that if you show more love,care, support and understanding they will eventually return it. And accepting that whatever it is it is what it is. The light people will always stay. A lose is not a lose if the presence have offore darkness than light. Furthermore peace of mind is more important then the company that makes you feel lonely. To become the free spirited, driven, and my own person. I need to unbecoming first. You can't heal if you don't recognize you are hurt. You need to clean the wounds take care off them and treat in order to heal properly. So I realized what I did was running away from my problems. You can't just jump into healing. Healing is.a journey. It's necessary for the soul. I needed to unbecome what I spent my life becoming a slave to what I think people want me to be. I mean let's face it, people don't ask me to do things for them. I.assume they would want me to and when n they see I have no problem they ask me to. So basically people will treat you how you teach them to treat you. The problem start with me. People just mirrored how I see myself. So instead am unbecoming. Unbecoming small and vulnerable. Unbecoming a peoples pleaser unbecoming their saving grace when I know.they wouldn't do the same for me.
Healing is a journey. Healing is.timeless. Healing can't be fast forwarded.
So heal take all the time you need and unbecome anything that is less than what you were meant to be.
You royalty
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